Nobody reads this stuff but I gotta try to tell the masses in someway. (I'm the post-wash up Tom Green of finding free wallets basically.)

So I was goin' fer a walk early in the morning from an insomnia dick jam gettin back from gettin a soda at dah local BP(BEEEEEEEEEEA PAAAAAAAAYE). When throwing away said soda into a garbage can outside of a shnazzy condo apartment building after drinking it (I'm really good at drinking drinks) I noticed a free wallet in it and dug my hand in there just in case the mugged victims wallet still had some green (all I care bout is dah green, don't give no shit bout no punk ass mugged bitch(maybe they shoulda thought about not gettin mugged before gettin mugged like a buttdick)) in it. Then some old guy that works there pops out from the building and is gettin all up in my shit with a passive aggressive penis statement like "Can I help you?" while I'm checkin dis here wallet, right? I explained to him that I found it, gave it to him to check it and to confirm I am not a homeless delinquent digging in his garbage for animal poopy poop to eat. There was only a dollar of quarters in it and no I.D.. Mofuckah took the wallet and the quarters only to leave me with an awkward stroll back home, dollar-less and full of self hatred. This is why free garbagecan wallets aint' always free cuz I want to die and have many guns to die with and shoot up radioshack with because they sell shit that sucks. Maybe you'd do better if you sold fuckin good stuff and not bad stuff radioshack fuck